I have been a housewife for over a month. Actually, I have been a basement apartment wife for over a month. I never imagined that I would be a wife who stayed home while her husband went to work. I assumed that I would always be kept busy by some project. When I was first laid off I saw unemployment as an opportunity to explore my creativity that I have had to put aside over the years. I planned to use my unemployed days to explore all the creative outlets I longed to explore but did not have the time while I was working. I was on the fast-track to be like many folks in this hurting economy who have decided to take the risk and connect with the entrepreneurial spirit that is reportedly in every American. My career is at a stand-still, so I might as well take a creative detour, right? After all, a detour from my career may lead somewhere more substantial than just an unemployment venture.
Something happened to my entrepreneurial spirit, though. I got accustomed to the role of a basement apartment wife. My days quickly were taken up by grocery shopping, laundry, gift shopping, coffee time with friends. When I was employed I managed to get all the same things done, but for some reason as a basement apartment wife the seemingly simple tasks can take more time than expected, or necessary. As my days filled with standard tasks, I began to notice that I did not have as many dreams and quick ideas. I somehow dulled out very quickly. When I was employed I would travel all over the city. As a basement apartment wife my life only needs a four mile radius. The particular four mile radius I live my days within can be rather uninspiring.
Last week I listened to an episode of Story Corps by a woman in her 80s who told stories of her time as an adoption social worker. I immediately connected with this woman as she told her stories about going to obscure places to have a birth mother and birth father sign the adoption papers. I have many similar stories of my own as an adoption social worker. It struck me when I realized that my current daily life does not easily lend itself to experience such interesting and life-changing moments. As it stands now, the biggest news I have each day is usually related to the world news or something bizarre that happened while standing in line somewhere. Each day of my life is what I determine it to be, and that is great in some aspects, but in other ways it causes me to miss the unexpected experiences that are so enjoyable.
I grew up with a mom who had experiences outside of the home and outside of the family. I was not a latchkey kid by any means, but my mom was always working on the business she was building. To this day my mom has work projects and endeavors that I know nothing about. I appreciate that. I appreciate that my mom managed to live the entrepreneurial dream, while still maintaining a family and home. My mom has a dynamic personality that allows her to be both involved in business and be a wonderful mother. It is most likely because of my mom that I have never imagined being a housewife.
Even if my time as a basement apartment wife has been forced by the economy, and all the other factors that go into ‘downsizing’, it has been a good experiment. Calling this time an experiment makes it seem like it was my choice, but it is a time of testing things out. My hypothesis was that I would go stir-crazy if I did not have anything to do. I would not say that I am stir-crazy, but rather I am missing the outside world. I need to get out of this four mile bubble.
12.30.2008
12.19.2008
Living as a Holiday Patriot
Everywhere I go seems to be busy. It’s the kind of busy that only happens around the holidays. This year has been strange though. There does not seem to be as much holiday cheer. Maybe I am assuming there is not as much cheer because I don’t feel prepared for the holidays. Maybe I don’t feel the holiday spirit because I don’t have a television; I have not seen any holiday shows or movies this year. It’s interesting that I may be dependent on the media helping me to get into the holiday spirit.
I figured I would feel the holiday spirit when I went to the mall today. This was my second time being at a mall since before Thanksgiving. I told myself that I was going to the mall simply for blog material purposes. Also, there was the small fact that I had some gift cards to use. I have heard so much about all the sales that I figured now is the time to buy. After all, that is what we are supposed to do to help the recession – buy, buy, buy – right?
My investigation of the mall proved riskier than expected. Although it was somewhat depressing to walk through a mall where every store appeared to be days away from closing forever, it was intriguing to see all the sales. 40 percent off! 60 percent off! 70 percent off! Even 90 percent off! Layering Tees for 10! Layering tees? How could I go without?
I have found that it is much more difficult than expected not to give into the sales tactics of our present economy. As much as I would love to own a t-shirt specifically designed for layering, I can’t justify spending money simply because something is dramatically marked down in price. This is what I have to keep telling myself so I don’t spend the little money I do have.
I can’t help but wonder if saving my money is anti-American. Our economy functions on the premise that we live beyond our means. Is my patriotism in question? I wonder if American flags are on sale. If so, maybe I should purchase one.
I figured I would feel the holiday spirit when I went to the mall today. This was my second time being at a mall since before Thanksgiving. I told myself that I was going to the mall simply for blog material purposes. Also, there was the small fact that I had some gift cards to use. I have heard so much about all the sales that I figured now is the time to buy. After all, that is what we are supposed to do to help the recession – buy, buy, buy – right?
My investigation of the mall proved riskier than expected. Although it was somewhat depressing to walk through a mall where every store appeared to be days away from closing forever, it was intriguing to see all the sales. 40 percent off! 60 percent off! 70 percent off! Even 90 percent off! Layering Tees for 10! Layering tees? How could I go without?
I have found that it is much more difficult than expected not to give into the sales tactics of our present economy. As much as I would love to own a t-shirt specifically designed for layering, I can’t justify spending money simply because something is dramatically marked down in price. This is what I have to keep telling myself so I don’t spend the little money I do have.
I can’t help but wonder if saving my money is anti-American. Our economy functions on the premise that we live beyond our means. Is my patriotism in question? I wonder if American flags are on sale. If so, maybe I should purchase one.
12.17.2008
Obstinate Denial
A couple of weeks ago I saw a sign that read, “We hear there is a recession. We have decided not to participate.” The sign was simply a piece of paper that was tacked to the wall in a historically Republican barbecue restaurant in North Georgia. From the font and border around the paper, it I assumed that the sign had been there since the recession in the beginning of the 90’s. The restaurant was the type of institution that tacked anything slightly political to the wall. In this case the sign is able to have a timely status once again.
That single piece of paper posted on the wall really got me thinking. It is impossible to listen to the news without hearing reports about how poorly the economy is doing, but it seems that many folks don’t want to participate in this latest trend. For being a country so vulnerable to crazes and trends, we are slow to pick this up. Maybe we need a good celebrity host to get us involved.
There are countless reports of consumer spending being down, but holiday traffic is just as chaotic as ever, and I have seen mall parking lots at nearly full capacity. I went to the mall yesterday to see those who are being obstinate towards the recession. I am sure some who were at the mall could argue that less money was spent than normal because of the extreme sales stores were having. At the end of the day, does buying something on sale mean that we have given into the recession?
A few weeks ago I listened to a radio broadcast about the Depression after the crash in 1929. I figured it could give me some insight about what life could be like in the coming months. For the record, I would not recommend listening to a lot of stories of the Great Depression in a single sitting. While listening to interviews with folks who reminisced about the 1930’s, I frantically searched for jobs online. I applied for three jobs within minutes of hearing the end of the broadcast. When I wasn’t scouring job sites for open positions I was wondering if what people experienced in the 1930’s could be possible today.
I believe our economic infrastructure is capable of collapse – everyday it seems to be sucker-punched by the fall of some industry. But I am not sure that we are the same country that survived the Great Depression. One of the men on the radio program commented that today’s generation will not allow themselves to experience a depression. He made the comment that his generation was not afraid of dying for something, but this generation is not afraid of killing for something. Poignant. I am not sure if the man believed that the present generation is a group of violent anarchists, but either way his statement revealed that the generation that lived through the Great Depression observes a difference in this generation’s resilience and coping skills. Maybe the generation of the 1930’s views this generation as insubordinate to economic downturns.
I don’t know much about the luxury vices of the early 1930’s, but I find it hard to believe that must-haves of the 1930’s were comparable to ‘necessary’ electronics and treats of today. We are a country that sits with $4 coffee drinks to discuss how hard of economic times we are experiencing. I have repeatedly been unable to find a table at Starbucks lately. The other day I was fortunate enough to sit at a small table. I listened to the man flanked by all of his cutting-edge electronics next to me talk about the hard times our nation is experiencing. Between comments the man took sips of his large designer coffee. Did folks in the 1930’s continue to indulge in the small things for a while? Or, are we now a nation that does not know how to scale back? Either we don’t know how to scale back or we are choosing to not to participate in the recession.
That single piece of paper posted on the wall really got me thinking. It is impossible to listen to the news without hearing reports about how poorly the economy is doing, but it seems that many folks don’t want to participate in this latest trend. For being a country so vulnerable to crazes and trends, we are slow to pick this up. Maybe we need a good celebrity host to get us involved.
There are countless reports of consumer spending being down, but holiday traffic is just as chaotic as ever, and I have seen mall parking lots at nearly full capacity. I went to the mall yesterday to see those who are being obstinate towards the recession. I am sure some who were at the mall could argue that less money was spent than normal because of the extreme sales stores were having. At the end of the day, does buying something on sale mean that we have given into the recession?
A few weeks ago I listened to a radio broadcast about the Depression after the crash in 1929. I figured it could give me some insight about what life could be like in the coming months. For the record, I would not recommend listening to a lot of stories of the Great Depression in a single sitting. While listening to interviews with folks who reminisced about the 1930’s, I frantically searched for jobs online. I applied for three jobs within minutes of hearing the end of the broadcast. When I wasn’t scouring job sites for open positions I was wondering if what people experienced in the 1930’s could be possible today.
I believe our economic infrastructure is capable of collapse – everyday it seems to be sucker-punched by the fall of some industry. But I am not sure that we are the same country that survived the Great Depression. One of the men on the radio program commented that today’s generation will not allow themselves to experience a depression. He made the comment that his generation was not afraid of dying for something, but this generation is not afraid of killing for something. Poignant. I am not sure if the man believed that the present generation is a group of violent anarchists, but either way his statement revealed that the generation that lived through the Great Depression observes a difference in this generation’s resilience and coping skills. Maybe the generation of the 1930’s views this generation as insubordinate to economic downturns.
I don’t know much about the luxury vices of the early 1930’s, but I find it hard to believe that must-haves of the 1930’s were comparable to ‘necessary’ electronics and treats of today. We are a country that sits with $4 coffee drinks to discuss how hard of economic times we are experiencing. I have repeatedly been unable to find a table at Starbucks lately. The other day I was fortunate enough to sit at a small table. I listened to the man flanked by all of his cutting-edge electronics next to me talk about the hard times our nation is experiencing. Between comments the man took sips of his large designer coffee. Did folks in the 1930’s continue to indulge in the small things for a while? Or, are we now a nation that does not know how to scale back? Either we don’t know how to scale back or we are choosing to not to participate in the recession.
12.04.2008
Brief Thought on the Plight of the Squirrel
I heard a report on NPR that squirrels are experiencing their Great Depression. There seems to be a lack of acorns, and the authorities are assuming that the squirrels are scrambling to figure out what to do this winter. I can’t help but wonder if the squirrels are concerned about this reported acorn depression. For all the authorities know, the squirrels may all be in agreement that they are only in a recession.
The woman interviewed in the NPR segment owns a flying squirrel (appropriately named Mr. Flying Squirrel), so it seems like she has more access to taking the pulse of the squirrel community. The major concern is that if squirrels don’t have food the food chain will be affected. Poor squirrels. I hope they weren’t listening. I would be bummed if my food supply was low, and the major concern was that if I die before carrying on the species there will be less food for the vultures. What about the squirrels’ livelihood? Sometimes I have envied squirrels – with their ability to scale power lines and all – but after listening to the segment I began to consider the plight of squirrels.
The road leading to my apartment is Death Valley for squirrels. At least every other day I see a rodent who couldn’t make it in this fast world. I can’t tell if there are a lot of dumb squirrels in my neighborhood, or if there are simply a lot of squirrels. I may be living in the San Francisco area for squirrels for all I know. My neighborhood could be a melting pot of squirrels from every corner of the city. Either way, I come across a skittish furry friend most days that I am driving. Today I watched a squirrel panic, and as I drove past I saw some debris in my review mirror. For a moment I thought I had created some fresh road-kill. It turns out the flying debris was fallen leaves. My conscience was clear. The squirrel is probably lying on the side of the road anyway, dead from a heart attack caused by the stress of his local economy and living conditions.
The woman interviewed in the NPR segment owns a flying squirrel (appropriately named Mr. Flying Squirrel), so it seems like she has more access to taking the pulse of the squirrel community. The major concern is that if squirrels don’t have food the food chain will be affected. Poor squirrels. I hope they weren’t listening. I would be bummed if my food supply was low, and the major concern was that if I die before carrying on the species there will be less food for the vultures. What about the squirrels’ livelihood? Sometimes I have envied squirrels – with their ability to scale power lines and all – but after listening to the segment I began to consider the plight of squirrels.
The road leading to my apartment is Death Valley for squirrels. At least every other day I see a rodent who couldn’t make it in this fast world. I can’t tell if there are a lot of dumb squirrels in my neighborhood, or if there are simply a lot of squirrels. I may be living in the San Francisco area for squirrels for all I know. My neighborhood could be a melting pot of squirrels from every corner of the city. Either way, I come across a skittish furry friend most days that I am driving. Today I watched a squirrel panic, and as I drove past I saw some debris in my review mirror. For a moment I thought I had created some fresh road-kill. It turns out the flying debris was fallen leaves. My conscience was clear. The squirrel is probably lying on the side of the road anyway, dead from a heart attack caused by the stress of his local economy and living conditions.
12.02.2008
Where Can I Find a Pearl Necklace?
The weeks leading up to my graduation from graduate school I was consistently asked what I planned on doing after graduation. I was not the student who missed class early in the semester to go to an interview. Nor was I the student who had a full-time job to return to after graduation. I did not have much of a plan. Not having a plan did not bother me too much, nor did it seem to bother anyone I told. Everyone I confessed my lack of plans to seemed to say the same thing, “That’s fine. ‘The world is your oyster!’ Do whatever you want! You have so many options.”
The world is your oyster. The world is your oyster? Every time someone reassured my uncertain future by spouting off this idiom I would simply pause, smile, and say thank you, not really understanding what was just said. I gave the ever-popular adage a lot of thought. I even googled the saying, hoping to gain some insight. After thought and some research I concluded that I was simply being told that I have a lot of options to work with and I can make something as great as a pearl. That is assuming that in the phrase I am the oyster. So maybe it actually means that I will have pearls waiting for me to find. The meaning is still a little murky to me. Clearly.
Although I cannot concisely say what The world is your oyster means, I feel like I am at another crossroads in life where this adage could be said to me with enthusiasm. But it is not. Somehow the world is only my oyster when I am on the brink of graduating. I guess being laid off from a job does not conjure up the idea that there is a lot of opportunity for pearls in my life. I have not had the encouragement to take my time to find my pearls in this world. Instead, the response from others to not having a plan for the upcoming year has been to give dozens of suggestions of possible employers. I appreciate the advice and the career ideas, but what happened to searching for that pearl?
It seems that many in the working world leave the quest for pearls to those who just walked off campus. Somewhere along the road idealism is lost, and the popular thing to do is to go after the realities of paying the bills and having a solid resume. Oddly enough, though, the oyster has gotten bigger since I graduated. Sadly, the bigger my oyster has become the more dilemmas it has caused. Maybe I am becoming one of the folks in the working world who abandons the search for the pearls because it becomes too complicated. In some ways I would like to be the person who has one track, and plans on maintaining the course until retirement. Sometimes fewer opportunities look good because it makes the crossroads a simple intersection, instead of a junction of highways.
One of my friends and I recently spoke of the dilemma of the world being our oyster. Obviously, this is a conversation that would appall many – how dare two young women have such disregard for the opportunities presented to them! At the risk of seeming irreverent towards the feminists who dreamt of a day when women would have so many open doors, my friend and I discussed the internal pressure of making the right decision when there are many paths to follow. Sometimes it feels like there are almost too many options.
Albeit many paths, I have decided to still go for the oyster. I like pearls. I have been thinking, though, what if the person who coined The world is your oyster did not intend for it to be used as a positive adage what is to come in life? Maybe the originator of this saying shucked oysters for a living and knew that there are a lot of oysters out there, but only some produce pearls. If my fictional history of this saying is true, it would be kind of intimidating to hear as a recent graduate, but I feel like it would make my career feel more like an adventure of trying to find a pearl, instead of feeling like there is pressure to make certain that everything molds into the perfect pearl.
11.25.2008
What I Would Give to be a Pilgrim About Now
A little less than 200 hours ago I became a statistic. I and my colleagues were ushered into the windowless conference room and informed that we were terminated. Effective immediately. I became one of the 6.5 percent who is unemployment. I felt like one of the car plant workers in
It could be thought that my first step after being laid off would be to clear out my work area. Not exactly. Somehow I was laid off on Monday, but I continued to work in the office during the days to follow. Maybe it is the Protestant Work Ethic ingrained in me, or maybe it is simply an unorthodox approach to unemployment. Either way, my lay-off has been a slow breakup. When I went to file for unemployment I wanted to ask my fellow unemployed citizens if they were experiencing the same tedious separation, or if they were able to make a clean break. The all-business nature of the folks filing for unemployment next to me made me assume that they were not on speaking terms about the issue.
I left the Department of Labor without any unemployed camaraderie, or even laughs of an awkward moment. All I left the Department of Labor with was an online appointment on Thanksgiving to clock my unemployed hours for the past week. It baffles me that I have to document my unemployment hours after 5 pm on Thanksgiving. I want to know what the Pilgrims would think of this. I am assuming, giving their feisty nature, that they would take issue with this, maybe revolt.
Getting on the Blog Wagon
I have been considering starting a blog for a while now. I feel like it is the thing to do. I am engaging in popular culture by presenting my thoughts and experiences across the web. Starting a blog is not easy though. I have to admit, I was a bit gun-shy. I had the typical insecurities about having a strange thought process, an awkward writing style, and possibly no readers. Few things could be harder than having a blog that is never read. It would be as though your thoughts never left your head. In addition to the standard insecurities, I began thinking about the risks. My blog is created on the premise that I am unemployed. I will provide a snapshot of unemployed life in
I decided to do some investigation of blogging risks. I looked at the most reliable source on the Internet: Wikipedia.com. Here is some of the “news” I found:
In general, attempts at hiding the blogger's name and/or the place of employment in anonymity have proved ineffective at protecting the blogger.Employees who blog about elements of their place of employment raise the issue of employee branding, since their activities can begin to affect the brand recognition of their employer.
In fall 2004, Ellen Simonetti was fired for what was deemed by her employer, Delta Air Lines, to be inappropriate material on her blog. She subsequently wrote a book based on her blog.
In the spring of 2006, Erik Ringmar, a tenured senior lecturer at the London School of Economics, was ordered by the convenor of his department to "take down and destroy" his blog in which he discussed the quality of education at the school.
In
Blogging is serious stuff. I must admit, though, that I give it to Ellen Simonetti for taking it to the next level and writing a book based on her blog. When it doesn’t work in cyberspace, take it to the $3 bin at Barnes and Noble.
Despite the many risks associated with blogging, I think it’s a good time in my life to step out and really do something extraordinary. Take the plunge. Besides, Wikipedia also gave information about the benefits of blogging. Apparently, “Blogs provide another convenient avenue for writing about personal experiences. Research shows that it improves memory and sleep, boosts immune cell activity and reduces viral load in AIDS patients and even speeds healing after surgery.”Despite the fact that Wikipedia notes that this information may be “dubious” and needs to be discussed, I am going to go against logic and take it as truth. This actually works to my benefit on many levels. Since I am unemployed, health insurance is at a premium. Anything that will help me have a speedy recovery after surgery is a must.
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