Daily Life as a Wife

I have been a housewife for over a month. Actually, I have been a basement apartment wife for over a month. I never imagined that I would be a wife who stayed home while her husband went to work. I assumed that I would always be kept busy by some project. When I was first laid off I saw unemployment as an opportunity to explore my creativity that I have had to put aside over the years. I planned to use my unemployed days to explore all the creative outlets I longed to explore but did not have the time while I was working. I was on the fast-track to be like many folks in this hurting economy who have decided to take the risk and connect with the entrepreneurial spirit that is reportedly in every American. My career is at a stand-still, so I might as well take a creative detour, right? After all, a detour from my career may lead somewhere more substantial than just an unemployment venture.

Something happened to my entrepreneurial spirit, though. I got accustomed to the role of a basement apartment wife. My days quickly were taken up by grocery shopping, laundry, gift shopping, coffee time with friends. When I was employed I managed to get all the same things done, but for some reason as a basement apartment wife the seemingly simple tasks can take more time than expected, or necessary. As my days filled with standard tasks, I began to notice that I did not have as many dreams and quick ideas. I somehow dulled out very quickly. When I was employed I would travel all over the city. As a basement apartment wife my life only needs a four mile radius. The particular four mile radius I live my days within can be rather uninspiring.

Last week I listened to an episode of Story Corps by a woman in her 80s who told stories of her time as an adoption social worker. I immediately connected with this woman as she told her stories about going to obscure places to have a birth mother and birth father sign the adoption papers. I have many similar stories of my own as an adoption social worker. It struck me when I realized that my current daily life does not easily lend itself to experience such interesting and life-changing moments. As it stands now, the biggest news I have each day is usually related to the world news or something bizarre that happened while standing in line somewhere. Each day of my life is what I determine it to be, and that is great in some aspects, but in other ways it causes me to miss the unexpected experiences that are so enjoyable.

I grew up with a mom who had experiences outside of the home and outside of the family. I was not a latchkey kid by any means, but my mom was always working on the business she was building. To this day my mom has work projects and endeavors that I know nothing about. I appreciate that. I appreciate that my mom managed to live the entrepreneurial dream, while still maintaining a family and home. My mom has a dynamic personality that allows her to be both involved in business and be a wonderful mother. It is most likely because of my mom that I have never imagined being a housewife.

Even if my time as a basement apartment wife has been forced by the economy, and all the other factors that go into ‘downsizing’, it has been a good experiment. Calling this time an experiment makes it seem like it was my choice, but it is a time of testing things out. My hypothesis was that I would go stir-crazy if I did not have anything to do. I would not say that I am stir-crazy, but rather I am missing the outside world. I need to get out of this four mile bubble.